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Assorted Dogmas | ![]() |
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We dont just EAT cheese...the Dairy is a Part of us, and our fascinating world. Did you know that 1 out of every 3 people is made almost entirely out of cheese? Many famous people, Including Winston Churchill, Wilma Flinstone, The entire Packers Football team(and some of the Raiders), Marilyn Manson, Tammy Faye Bakker, Regis Philbin, and Tony the Tiger are well known to have been made almost entirely out of Cheese and Cheese-like products! |
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The Moon is IN FACT made of Blue Cheese
Many Scientists Claim that this is not true...But They were LYING. We have discovered HARD EVIDENCE that the Moon is made of Cheese...with lakes of milk and Honey Nut Cheerios! (tm) One Day, we shall make our home on the moon, and it shall be our promised land. Until then, we shall simply practice worker's comp fraud to fund our cause... (just kidding) |
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![]() This is what the moon looked like BEFORE the Lactose-Intolerant raped it of it's creamy natural resources. |
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The Importance of NIPPLES
Mostly every woman and man at birth has at least TWO nipples. This is the sign that Gouda gave us all to remember that No One is 0% cheese. We ALL have the Dairy within us! It has been proven that Men Have the ability to Lactate, and a Woman does not have to be pregnant to Lactate. Never forget that You have the ability to to produce dairy! For it is written: "For Gouda Made them in His Image, and as He created Them, They could Create Him." ~ The Book of Cheese, 3:24 |
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![]() Milk Produced by Nipples. |
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The Power of Cheezus Prayer
Praying to Cheezus is Sooo Easy and works BETTER than praying to any other deity. Thats Because Cheezus Melted for your (potatoe) Skins! No other Deity Melted for you. No other Deity is as potent and Dairy as our Savor, the Lard Cheezus Chrust. Pray to Cheezus, a simple prayer... Ask Cheezus about whatever is troubling you, and he shall come through!Try it for a week, and you'll be astounded by the results. You must, however, Be SINCERE! Cheezus KNOWS when you really need something. For instance, Pray to Cheezus when you are late to work, Or the car might not start because of the cold, Or you get lost on the Highway. Cheezus will Always get you where you need to go! Putting Cheezus into your Daily Life may seem hard, but dont worry, thats what he's there for! He'll understand no matter how much you slur with drunkenness. How can he understand? Simple! He Knows what The Dairy inside you needs. |
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![]() Fun and Easy! |